Confidence Archives - The Freelancer Head Start https://freelancerheadstart.com/tag/confidence/ Getting a head start with the right technology, advice, and tools for the freelancer and entrepreneur! Fri, 16 Feb 2018 19:31:28 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 https://i0.wp.com/freelancerheadstart.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/cropped-FHS_Logo_icon.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 Confidence Archives - The Freelancer Head Start https://freelancerheadstart.com/tag/confidence/ 32 32 136994759 FHS 16 Who the Hell Do You Think You Are!? https://freelancerheadstart.com/fhs-16-hell-think/ https://freelancerheadstart.com/fhs-16-hell-think/#comments Fri, 16 Feb 2018 03:00:59 +0000 http://freelancerheadstart.com/?p=499 The further down the road you get in your career, the more chances that you’ll doubt your success or abilities. This happens more often when you believe good things happened because of luck, timing, or other factors outside of your control. Instead of embracing success and actually taking credit, we sometimes feel that we’ll be “found out” for a fraud. This is all summed up into one phrase: Impostor Syndrome! Don’t worry, you’re not alone and is more common than you think.

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When looking up Impostor syndrome, you can find the definition from Wikipedia: Impostor Syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

Simply put, Impostor Syndrome is that feeling that you get when you think you’re a fraud or don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Hey, it happens to everyone! The trick is to identify WHEN its happening and then you’re able to slowly overcome it. There dozens of examples and ample evidence that indicate that you’re actually a skilled person and quiet accomplished already.


Book Recommendation

We Are Legion (We Are Bob): Bobiverse, Book 1 – Dennis E. Taylor

Bob Johansson has just sold his software company and is looking forward to a life of leisure. There are places to go, books to read, and movies to watch. So it’s a little unfair when he gets himself killed crossing the street.

Bob wakes up a century later to find that corpsicles have been declared to be without rights, and he is now the property of the state. He has been uploaded into computer hardware and is slated to be the controlling AI in an interstellar probe looking for habitable planets. The stakes are high: no less than the first claim to entire worlds. If he declines the honor, he’ll be switched off, and they’ll try again with someone else. If he accepts, he becomes a prime target. There are at least three other countries trying to get their own probes launched first, and they play dirty.

The safest place for Bob is in space, heading away from Earth at top speed. Or so he thinks. Because the universe is full of nasties, and trespassers make them mad – very mad.

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What Type of Impostor Are You?

Perfectionist

This person thinks that everything has to be 100% of the project failed. You have difficulty accepting less than 100% perfect on extremely high goals set on by yourself. There is never a “good enough” with this person. Its done or it’s wrong! Success is rarely satisfying because you’re constantly thinking “I could have done better”.

As a perfectionist, you’ll have to learn celebrate accomplishments to avoid burnout. You need to find contentment and learn from mistakes in stride. Realize that mistakes are a natural part of your process and learn from them.

 

Superhero

This person thinks that they are working among people who are the “real” professionals. They feel that they have to go WELL above and beyond the call of duty and try push themselves to overwork. The mindset that the more they work and the harder they work, the closer to measuring up to their colleagues they will be.

You can easily classify these as workaholics or people who are addicted to validation that comes from work and the work itself. Your insecurities stem from needing approval from your colleagues.

The Superhero needs to be more attuned to their own accomplishments. The fact that you’ve made it THIS far is a major deal. Look around you and realize that your skills are competent and very much needed. You’ll also need to learn to take criticism constructively and not personally.

 

Gifted

This person was told by a lot of people around him that he is talked, smart, or great at something. They’re easy to pick up or understand something and find success based on their abilities versus effort. When tasked with something that is hard for them, they assume that they are bad at it.

If something can’t be done quickly or in a timely manner, they automatically assume that they’re incompetent.

To overcome this, you have to realize that you will always be learning. You will not be 100% at everything you try. Don’t beat yourself up for your shortcoming. Focus on bettering yourself with specific changeable behaviors or goals that you can do over time.

 

Individualist

This person feels that if they ask for help or assistance, that they’ll be found out. You constantly feel that you need to accomplish things on your own come hell-or-high-water. You push help away even if you need it.

To help break this cycle, realize that the fact that you asked for help is an awesome opportunity to better yourself. You’ve just pinpointed something that you can focus on and level up. You’re still the expert when it comes to what you’re doing. That person helping you will not forget that.

 

Fake Expert

The Fake Expert believes that the client/customer was tricked into hiring them. You seek additional training in what you’re already hired to do because you feel that the person who hired you ‘catch on’. You never feel that you’re good enough and may get into that cycle of always training and not working. This can be a subtle form of procrastination.

There is no shame in realizing that your responsibilities have evolved and changed. You can learn new skills as needed. You also need to understand that there is no shame in asking others for assistance. Seeking advice does not indicate that you’ve bamboozled your clients. It shows that your resourceful AND you gain additional knowledge. Pretty much a win-win.

 

Check Your Confidence

A common culprit of impostor syndrome is slip in your confidence in who you are and your abilities. What’s got you riled up and shook? Are you facing a new opportunity? Have you been invited to sit in on a very important meeting? Are you thinking of pursuing that high-profile client?

Identify specifically what’s possibly triggering your low confidence. Write it down and talk to yourself about that problem. Use the Rubber Ducky method (you can use it to talk through not just coding problems…) and say your problems out loud. I PROMISE you you’ll be able to talk yourself out of that doubt. You may even find that the underlying problem is just a huge assumption made of nothing.

Don’t forget, you didn’t just accidentally stumble into that meeting. You didn’t just tripped and found a new opportunity. That high-profile client is not a mythical creature, you can talk to them like a human being. You’re already oozing with success, you just think your tank is empty!

 

Change Your Tone/Language

Alter the way you talk about yourself and what you do! How you discuss your projects or the skills you have will have an assertive affect on yourself. Eliminate doubt from your sentences such as “I don’t know but, I just feel…” when talking about ideas or pitching to clients. Assertive phrases will slowly start making you believe in what you’re saying. And your clients/customers will notice!

Try words that show confidence in what your ideas are such as “I don’t recommend that…” or “Based on experience, option B would….” Champion your ideas through assertive language.

 

You’re Not the Only One

At the end of the day, you have to realize that Impostor Syndrome is not a rare THING that people. Almost every celebrity, CEO, actor, athlete, etc, have had a bout of Impostor Syndrome. EVERYONE starts from the bottom and build their way up! Just because you feel that you’re not as successful as you think, you need to take a step back and realize the path you’ve take to this point in life!

Mentoring other people is a GREAT way to break through your self doubt. You have so much knowledge and skills in what you do that other are lack. Its crazy on the number of people who DON’T know what you know and wish they did. Mentoring someone rising in your field/industry is a perfect way to see that.

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